From the last story I presented, I realized that I had to shorten my story a lot as it was going over 2 minutes and there were too many characters. Also the father's expectations were not very clear. Keeping that in mind, I changed my process to develop this new story.
I started by writing out a dialogue between the father and the son making sure that both their expectations were clear. Once I wrote this dialogue out, I replaced it with actions. Below is the new story. I think it is clearer and the expectations definitely come through here. I have also limited the story to just two characters so this will be more manageable as far as time and production is concerned.
- we see the father looking at a picture of himself and his dad with pride
- he starts to hear drum beats, his looks in the direction of the sound
- he sees his son playing the drums enjoying himself
- he looks back at the picture and then picks up the smaller version of his hat on the table and takes it over to his son
- the boy keeps playing
- the father interrupts the boys drumming and motions him to stop
- shocked the boy stops and looks at his dad
- The dad walks over and puts the hat he had in his hands on his sons head and then pushes the drums aside
- the boy looks upset, he immediately starts walking towards the drums but his father motions him to come back.
- The boy reluctantly leaves the drums and goes to his father.
- The dad starts doing the rain dance singing his chant as he dances .
- The boy looks annoyed
- The boy reluctantly does the rain dance but he's not into it at all.
- The dad stops him and tells him to watch him again. he does the rain dance again.
- But the boy is looking away at his drums.
- The dad gets angry at the boy when he notices that he isn't paying attention.
- lighting strikes and fire breaks out
- the dad panicks and starts doing the rain dance chanting as he dances
- not much rain falling
- the boy takes his hat off and runs to his drums
- he starts playing furiously
- The dad looks towards him but annoyed
- The rain falls really heavily and puts the fire out.
- The dad and boy start rejoicing,
- dad hugs his son.
- picture on the desk, you see the picture of the dad and his father and next to that another picture of the dad doing his rain dance while his son is drumming.
The end.
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